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Mommy Again

Posted on Oct 3, 2013 by in Faith, Family | 10 comments

Black and White 015-001I spoke at a conference this week. For three days, five presentations.

It was weird.

By the final day, as I reviewed my manuscript, I fought against this inner thought, They don’t surely want to hear from me again.

It’s taken me awhile to process the strangeness.  I think it’s this:

For six years now of staying home with kids and squeezing into the Mommy role, I’ve been the invisible woman.  That took some adjusting, but six years later, it’s pretty comfortable. If the introverted/extroverted sides of me are like Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde, Introvert has been in dominance for quite a while.   Now it’s weird and a little uncomfortable to become visible for a few days.   I don’t like to write bio descriptions.  Who is this lady?  Um, no one actually. Just some stay at home mom from Buffalo. Where?  Exactly.

So I drive back home with shiny red fingernails that I had done for only the third time ever. I put away my maternity dresses for Sundays only again.  I put my lips on Isaac’s impossibly smooth baby skin cheeks and hold him for 30 minutes straight while he watches Curious George.  I willingly play Candyland with Abby, even though I have compared it to purgatory.  Ben and I talk in his bed until I think I’m going to fall asleep there. I get up the next morning relieved to be wearing just a ponytail, minimal make-up.

I open my email to receive a message from a woman at the conference. She tells me not to hesitate to take another speaking opportunity.

In the words of Scarlet O Hara, I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.

Today I am Mommy again. It feels good.

 

 

10 Comments

  1. Ashley, you will be asked again; to speak in places and before groups you cannot conceive; and God will bless you and your audience as only He can.

    I pray for you. I pray for wisdom for you to know when to say “yes” and when (and how) to say “no”. I pray you’ll recognize only those doors God opens before you. I pray you’ll never, ever fail to recognize it is His grace that will see you through them.

    I pray for you peace. Peace to know God will care for and hug on your precious family while you are gone on His mission. Peace to know it is He Who will speak through you; His message.

    I pray for you laughter, love, and a longing for Him that never waivers. You are blessed. You are a blessing. Hugs

    • Susie, I need those prayers more than anything. Thank you so much. You’ve already walked this road before me; what a strong blessing you give!

  2. I love this. And I love that you are just you – here on the blog, at home, and even at your speaking engagements.

    • Can’t be anything else, lol. Thanks friend. 🙂 Don’t let me be anything other than authentic, ok? Hold me to it.

  3. Ashley,

    I was at the conference (The only other pregnant lady there too!) and I cannot begin to explain how moved I was by your messages during the Worship sessions. You spoke on something that I have been struggling with for weeks but seriously spending time in prayer on over the weekend and even on my drive to Branson. It was exactly what I needed to hear. You’ve also inspired me to get back in to blogging at my own blog home and take some of the inspiration from you and many other speakers at BSAM to hopefully reach out to others. Thank you so much for the willingness to be away from your family and share with us.

    • Thank you Kayla! Love that you’re getting back into blogging. Wish I would have visited more at the conference. I’m learning! Send me your URL so I can visit you too.

  4. I’ve been reviewing your outline these last 2 mornings … thank you again! Your writing & your speaking resinate in so many women’s lives! God bless you & your family!

    • Angela! My husband helped me add the email inbox notifications for the blog. Hope that helps. 🙂

  5. Ashley, I was at that conference, also. You did an excellent job. I loved to hear you speak. I had no idea you were new to it! I look forward to reading your blog! May God bless you!

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