Women, Hair, and God
Women, Hair, and God
I’ve been “bottle blonde” for at least fifteen years now. I think I started getting highlights in my hair during my junior year of high school, but I am not completely sure. As a small girl, I had golden blonde curls: wispy little curled-up strands that looked like they would dissolve if you blew on them. As I matured, my hair darkened to more of an ashy tone, not completely brown and definitely not blonde. Highlights were a wonder-cure to me for this unsavory hair color. I loved them. I didn’t love the price and the time involved, but it was worth it to have a hair color I loved.
In the last couple years, as time and money reached new premiums with each successive child added to our family, I have become disenchanted with my highlights. Weary of keeping up with them, weary of spending hours under foils, weary of hiding roots. I embraced my brownish hair color earlier this Spring, but the blonde bled right back through during the summer months.
Sometimes it takes time to return to your true color; old habits die hard.
My hair journey is linked inextricably with a personal journey to embrace being me, how God made me. I have spent many years on efforts of personal improvement. I still love personal improvement, but now I am learning that sometimes the best way forward is to go back and embrace what is most true about you, your unique design stamped by God Himself. It may be a design you have long fought against. Take a second look at what you are trying so hard to change whether it’s hair color or personality trait or quirk and ask, “Is it really so bad to be this way?” Sometimes the answer will surprise you. (To be clear, I am not speaking of sin. Turning from sin to Light is always freeing and holy.)
In the end, it’s good to be me. I finally got the hair color I have wanted this last Saturday. Brownish, ashy with a few blonde highlights underneath for fun and dimension. Seeing myself in the mirror was a little like coming home, only a home I’ve never been before, both familiar and new.
I like being me.
In the end, it’s not really about hair, is it? For women, hair is an extension of our truest selves, and how we express ourselves through hair is a very personal decision. It’s not right or wrong to dye or highlight, cut or perm or curl or leave natural. No one way is better than the rest; all are freedoms given us to enjoy who we are.
But occasionally, it’s good to reevaluate if what we are doing does align with our truest selves. Are we trying to please someone else? Trying too hard to be someone else? Trying to hard to fight our design? Maybe you are too afraid to try something bold with your hair and you need to step out and be brave, knowing that there is no failure, only freedom to try.
For a long time, I was wearing blond with bangs, and both of those aspects required a lot of upkeep. I want more minimalism in my hair care. But I am also a people person. I love to listen to people, see people, interact and connect with people, and I was tired of doing that through a fringe of hair in my eyes. I wanted to make eye contact and smile and ask questions without constantly pushing my hair out of my way. For several years, I felt like my wrinkles needed to hide behind bangs, but I’m tired of that now. Those who truly love me don’t care about wrinkles; they want to be with me for me, and I’m tired of hiding.
I think when we find the place that our truest self lines up with our outer self, even if that outer self isn’t all that we want it to be, we will discover new levels of contentment we didn’t even know were possible. And we’ll be able to say:
I like being me.
And this is beautiful indeed.
See my new look HERE.