You Like What You Like
If you are a compliant person who likes to connect with others and make them happy, you might sometimes struggle to express your own opinions.
But the principles of boundaries show you that your opinions, even your likes and dislikes, are what makes you, you. They are the line in the sand between you and others. This is good and healthy.
I remember going shopping years ago with a new friend. The friendship was new and tentative. The shopping experience for me was not enjoyable because when my friend showed me clothes she thought I should try on, I was not able to tell her that I did not like those clothes. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and I didn’t know how to express my opinions. So I tried on outfits I didn’t like and no ground was gained in what could have been a good friendship.
The fact is, you like what you like. It’s what distinguishes you as an individual. Not expressing opinions does not help relationships grow.
Those with poor boundaries struggle to say no to the demands of others or to express a differing opinion. They feel as if saying no or I disagree will endanger the relationship with that person. What they don’t see is that they are paying a price by staying silent.
It is healthy and important to communicate your likes, dislikes, feelings, or intentions to others.
People cannot read your mind and you are responsible to communicate yourself to them.
Sometimes people think that if they never fight in their marriage or dating relationship, that is sign of a healthy relationship, but this is not always true. Sometimes it is a sign that one person in the relationship is simply complying with everything the other wants so as to not create waves. This is not healthy for either person in the relationship.
You like what you like and you don’t like what you don’t like.
It’s good for you, and it helps other to know you and understand you better.
**If you are not a compliant person and tend to be more dominant in your relationships, you may need to pay attention to how you respond when a normally compliant person speaks up and disagrees with you. Your response of listening instead of arguing or brow-beating can cause your relationship with that person to flourish because they feel heard and respected.