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Blooming
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Blooming

Apr 9, 2017 by

Abby blooms up before me like a lily, talking like a miniature adult,  sponging up everything I say, asking me why and what’s that mean? All this as I look every night in the mirror to see more wrinkles, just a touch of silver at the hairline. Her moon waxes as mine begins to wane; she’ll tower over me before long. Ben comes to...

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The Stumbling, Humbling Job of Working with Students (teenagers)
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I spend roughly eight hours five days a week with teenagers.  This is my job as a high school English teacher.  I love my job and it is rewarding, but I do have some observations about working with teenagers. It’s often thankless.   Teenagers don’t say thank you for speaking truth into their lives.  I was a pretty decent teenager: no rebellion, good grades,...

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All Shall Be Well
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“The novel we sit down to write, and the one we end up writing may be very different, just as the Jesus we grasp and the Jesus who grasps us may also differ.”  Madeleine L’Engle, Walking On Water   “When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to...

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Write.
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Write.

Jun 8, 2016 by

I miss writing. I believe a small kind of joy erupts every time you express yourself in a creative act–from coloring a picture as a four year old to choosing an outfit as an eight year old.  These acts of creativity reveal to ourselves more fully who we are–and to others, too.  That’s the vulnerable part.  When my children come to show me their...

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Thin Places
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Thin Places

Mar 28, 2016 by

The bell was about to ring in 45 seconds as I hot-glued my sandal strap into place where it had disconnected from the ankle strap. It was an apt metaphor for how I felt going into the school day—glued together, holding on by a string, getting by.  We had received some bad news about a close family member, cancer, and the tears kept welling...

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Things I Love Right Now
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How Susanna thinks milk is called “milk-please,” ie: “Mommy, you get me some milk-please?” and “Mommy? You got my milk-please?” How she calls Dora “Da-Da-Dora” because I tried to get her to pronounce the first letter one time.  And how she yells out all the Spanish words at the tv when Dora prompts her to. ABAJO!  (She watches Dora with such unblinking intensity that...

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In Lieu of a Christmas Card
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Dear friends and family, Christmas cards are not in the mail. We love you and you are all worth a stamp, but we simply cannot do cards. Maybe when everyone is out of diapers? Nah, probably not even then. Man, it’s been a year of change. In March, I was spending every day with my two youngest babies, drinking coffee in my pjs until...

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It’s Hard to Be Tim
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This morning I wandered around in a sleepy state looking for my cell phone. After five minutes, I gave up, made a cup of coffee, and opened up my computer instead. A facebook message awaited me from Tim, reminding me I have nursery duty and informing me that my phone was on his car this morning when he drove to church. When he stopped...

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How Being a Teacher Has Made Me a Better Mom
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  I recently learned of some heavy heartache a student of mine is carrying quietly upon his shoulders along with his backpack and homework. I felt utterly hopeless to help with his burden. I can’t control the variables of my students’ lives, but I can write the story of my own family. When I returned to teaching after eight years as a stay-at-home mom,...

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For All Those Who Don’t Have it All Together
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Dear Friend, I got your message. I hate what happened to you this past week. You were judged as a parent by a bystander. An old man watched you chase your toddler into the street and chastise him. He called out to you and warned you not to be so hard on your little guy, lest you break him. It hurt, this flash judgment....

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Seasons of Change
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  I cried all the way to work. The harder I tried to suppress the tears, the more stubbornly they forged salty rivers down my cheeks. I missed my kids. Also, I missed the comfort zone of my old life. I was one week into my return to the work force after eight years at home birthing, nursing, cuddling, and raising babies. The transition...

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Loving the Difficult Child
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For the 50th time that day, he put his hands on his cousins. Not wrestling exactly, not unkindly, but definitely handling them about the head, shoulders, and face. At six years old for a high-energy boy, it doesn’t get much better than visiting Disney World with your six and seven year old boy cousins and he was riding high on life. The decibels of his...

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Transition
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Transition

Jul 10, 2015 by

I am a woman in transition. Stay at home mom to working mom.  I find that when I’m in seasons of transition, I need lots of alone time. Alone time is my newborn-sleep; it’s when nourish my growth, recover from all the input and change.  I’m very existential, for better or worse; a lot goes on in my head. When I am with people,...

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Sick House
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Sick House

Jul 8, 2015 by

The sadness in the air was as heavy as the humidity in the Women’s cancer hospital in Managua, Nicaragua. It felt as though the weariness of long illness was contagious and epidemic throughout the patients who barely had the energy to smile.  Laying on beds with loved ones nearby, their mouths formed a welcome that didn’t quite reach their eyes. As we entered the room...

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Lean In
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Lean In

Jul 1, 2015 by

His body was bent and contorted in ways no body should be; every joint turned the wrong way, like a broken deer on the highway. Impossible even to sit in a chair, he was draped over a beanbag chair on his tummy to accommodate the spine that curved like an “S.”  Although he was technically in his teens, he wore a diaper, and inarticulate...

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How We Manage
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How We Manage

Jun 16, 2015 by

So, Tim and I had kids early. I was at a routine (I thought) gynecologist appointment when the sweet nurse opened the door and broke the news. Bless my heart. So, we started early and once we started, we figured we’d get through the baby years while we still remembered what to do with the wee little ones and then we’d dump all the...

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